The gift of Selma..

 I’ve been writing this post in my head for the last 10 days now, and it hasn’t got any easier…so much of me wants to rant about the unfairness of life and the tragic loss of my darling friend…but then, that’s not how Selma lived her life, and she was the one battling cancer. She lived her life to the full, she didn’t want to be defined by being ill, so it’s not my job to do that on her behalf. It’s my job to take the lessons she taught me, through her strength and courage, and live by them. 

We didn’t focus on her illness when she was here, so I’m not going to do that now that she’s gone. I will put my anger aside and celebrate knowing this wonderful lady; I’m not saying I won’t be crying as I write this, I can’t stop the tears, they just keep coming, but I may also smile through them as I recall the fun we had. 

I don’t really recall a time since I started my blog that I didn’t converse with Selma, she was there pretty much from the beginning. Funnily enough she found my blog via a recipe for a meringue cake – if you know me and my food, you’ll know how alien this is – and our communication built up from that point. 

 
Like so many of you have said, I was the lucky one, I got to meet her, on several occasions, and I cherish that and all of those memories. I remember the first time I saw her, walking down the road towards me, I think we started talking then and never really stopped…except to eat great food – only after we had photographed it of course!!!

Many of you have read about our outings before: visiting Borough Market, the Good Food Show and Shepherds Bush, and more recently, Selma’s visit to my home. I loved that so much, she met Bob, I got to share some of my food with her, we pottered round some vintage shops together..it was a lovely lovely day that I am extremely grateful for.  

 
I have learnt so much from Selma, she was a great font of knowledge, and if she didn’t know something, she was a brilliant researcher. I picked her brain on all sorts of subjects but, of course, mainly food based things. We talked and texted on a regular basis and I’m missing seeing her name coming up on my phone. 

It was Selma that sparked my current habit of making ready by hand daily. She sent me some dried sourdough starter, granddaughter of Celia’s starter Priscilla and daughter of Selma’s starter Twinkle. She furnished me with complete succinct instructions but still had to coach me through my nerves!!!! And it worked perfectly, I baked my first ever sourdough loaf and loved it! I’ve been making bread for the household daily as a result, sometimes using the same sourdough starter, sometimes with fresh yeast. 

I’ve loved and do love every one of Selma’s blogs posts, I loved her chat as well as her food, telling us all about her beautiful boy, Jake, and I have created a list of her recipes that I will be making. I urge you to have a good look round and save some recipes to make; do check out her most recent posts too as the recipes are not listed in the index yet. And read about Selma and her life in her words. And check out her page full of accolades, she really was a brilliant cook – even if she didn’t know it!! 

Right now I am focussing on being grateful for knowing such a lovely lady, rather than focussing on her loss. I hope she would love what we are doing at Fiesta Friday for her (she was the one that introduced me to Angie and then FF after all) and that we can party and celebrate our blog sister. I know Selma has been in touch with so many of you and that she has created great friendships with so many of our blog community, we will all miss seeing her at our weekly blog party and visiting our blogs. She was such a supportive, encouraging and kind lady, she was definitely one in a million. I will miss her comments on my bog as well as our interaction in person and on every social media platform we shared, but I also love that she is still alive through all of these sites, that we can still see her ๐Ÿ™‚ 

 
We don’t start our blogs expecting to make special friends so when it happens, it is a wonderful surprise and such a gift. Over the past week and a half, the love and support that has been shared between so many of us has made my heart want to burst.

This is what Selma has given us, the wonderful gift of love and sharing xx

Advertisements

107 thoughts on “The gift of Selma..

  1. Butter, Basil and Breadcrumbs

    Such a beautiful tribute to our beautiful friend… And I know she wouldn’t want us left with heavy hearts…
    I know, with time, our happy memories of Selma will ease our sadness.
    Selma would be so pleased with this wonderful tribute to her… And I can see her gorgeous smile with delight that a Fiesta Friday has been celebrated in honor of her.. โค๏ธ

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  2. Anita Kushwaha

    What a beautiful tribute to your dear friend. She sounds like a wonderful lady. It is amazing the people that we connect with through our blogs. And like you said, it can change life for the better. Sending healing vibes your way, Elaine! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Jhuls

    I think my heart becomes heavier and heavier each day. I didn’t even know that you will miss someone you haven’t met before so badly and you will spend so much heartache and tears losing her. This is such a beautiful post, Elaine. Selma would be very much happy with every word you said. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. Johanne Lamarche

    Oh Elaine,you were one of the lucky ones to know Selma. I remeber reading of your adventures together and hoped I could meet Selma in the Uk or here in the US as we often dreamed about. Thank you for this very personal tribute where I got to know Selma better. The tears are flowing through the fond rembrances and the smiles of having been at Selma’s Table.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      1. emmabarrett1508

        I never new Selma personally. However I did chat to her a lot about food etc… on line. It is a great tragedy.

        I’m opening surreyKitchen up to guest bloggers if you would like to write a post one day. There is no rush. Just let me know if you would be interested in the future. Take care. Emma xx

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Sue

    Wonderful, and I’m so glad to see the up front photos of you and Selma together, smiling. Indeed you are have lucky to have met her in the flesh and blood, I really wish I could have! I loved reading her comments to you about coming to your home and seeing your kitchen, about your dips and such. Awesome post Elaine!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. Circahappy

    How lucky are you to have spent time with the lovely Selma!!! Those memories are precious, and I am glad you get to keep them, Elaine. You are so right, we should celebrate her grace, not her illness. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. Julie is Hostess At Heart

    It is amazing how many people she touched through her grace, kindness and support. My heart is sore but full from reading all of the experiences that our blogging friends have of her. She truly had a wide reach and will be missed but not forgotten. Thank you Elaine for sharing your memories and wonderful pictures!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. Patty Nguyen

    This is simply beautiful, Elaine. I loved reading every last word. You and Selma had a special bond and I know that isn’t broken with her passing. She is smiling down on all of us right now. ๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. carolinescookingblog

    Such a beautiful post, Elaine, you had me in tears as I read it this morning, but in a kind of good way if that makes any sense at all – sad news but expressed in such a lovely way, and I love the Selma fiesta idea as well. It is so nice you got to know her so well, and I understand what a painful loss it must be.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. Marisa @missmarzipan.com

    This is such a heartwarming post. The news of her passing is heartbreaking, but I am glad that she has left such a legacy and that you have all these wonderful, personal memories to treasure and share. My thoughts are with Selma’s family and friends, including you of course, lovely. She will be missed โค

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. Angie

    These precious memories are now treasures, Elaine, that live in your heart and will continue to give you comfort. How beautifully you express the depth of your friendship and affection for each other. Selma, I believe, is smiling down on you. She’s your guardian angel. XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. Linda

    What a wonderful tribute to a dear friend of yours…I am sorry that I never got a chance to ‘meet’ Selma and will read through the post-links you’ve provided to learn a little bit about her and how much she meant to so many fellow bloggers. Well wishes to you and all Selma’s friends and family…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. fergie51

    What a beautiful tribute and post Elaine. Such respect and acknowledgment of Selma and her skill. I trawled back threw her site the other night and realised that I had commented on many of her posts that were so impressive. It’s so difficult to come to terms with such loss but sadly we must. Have you considered putting together an ebook of her recipes? I know they are on the blog but everything collated into one spot, especially, with her gorgeous photos would be lovely. Take care and cherish your memories.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Elaine @ foodbod Post author

      I have thought about a book of her recipes, and I would like to talk to Jake about that, but in time, it’s too soon yet.
      There’s so many lovely posts on her blog isn’t there? I keep reading and rereading them, it keeps her with me xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  14. cookingwithauntjuju.com

    What a sincere post from a good friend who really had a chance to know Selma. She was obviously more than just a blogging friend from your stories and pictures. I agree with you – I am focusing on being happy that I knew Selma and what she shared with me and not her loss. You love your starter as much as I do and through this kind gesture of Selma’s we will always remember her.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. Fae's Twist & Tango

    I have been thinking of Selma for the last three days since I heard the news. was thinking of you, Elaine, at the same time. I was shocked and saddened, but at the same time, I was visualizing the photos of two of you together in adventure, which I envied and wished to be with you. I’m glad you made the memories to reflect on and celebrate knowing her. Selma will be missed. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  16. Pingback: Selma’s chermoula spiced aubergine wedges for our special Fiesta Friday.. | foodbod

  17. chefjulianna

    Oh Elaine, I only just read this now and am truly shocked. This is a touching tribute for such a beautiful and talented woman. I know that you and Selma had a very special connection and that you will miss her very much. And we in the blogging community will miss her sophisticated, knowledgeable posts. Since I have started blogging 2 years ago, I have looked upon her as a cornerstone of the food blogging world. I shall miss her too.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Elaine @ foodbod Post author

      Julianna, I am so sorry that you found out the sad news this way ๐Ÿ˜ฆ it is so incredibly sad isn’t it? I still can’t believe she’s gone. I’m so glad that everyone has such wonderful memories of her though xx

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  18. apsara

    Elaine, as soon as I learned about Selma’s demise, I hopped to your blog, knowing that you were one of the bloggers closest to her, geographically and otherwise. So nice to see that you have so many memories to treasure. As we continue our blogging journey, I hope to be inspired by many more people like her! *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  19. Arl's World

    I didn’t know Selma well, only from our Fiesta Friday, but I thought of her warmly. She was always very supportive of my blog. She reminded me of an Aunt, a family member. She seemed to have that type of personality …where you just felt like she was family. I wish that I had a chance to get to know her better. I had no idea that she was ill. I was so saddened to find out of her passing. What a beautiful post on a beautiful friendship Elaine. Thank you so much for sharing! โค

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Elaine @ foodbod Post author

      Thank you, Arl, your description of Selma is so true, she did feel like one of the family. It’s still all so sad and hard to believe that she’s gone. Thank you for your lovely words xx

      Like

      Reply
  20. Loretta

    So beautiful and so true Elaine! Selma would have loved your post, you two had a very special connection from day 1. Yes, you were one of those fortunate enough to have met on several occasions. The pictures definitely portray that bond you both shared. I can only imagine what a void this must feel for you now, thanks so much for bringing us all together in the spirit of Selma, you’ve been courageous through it all. Thanks also for your voice mails and your messages, they were extremely comforting. I spent an entire day writing those two posts for the tribute, playing songs and sifting through her emails and her blog. It was my way of honoring her, and truly this has been wonderful reading through everyone’s posts. She was indeed a remarkable lady, never to be forgotten. Oh, and p.s. just love your dimples :))

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  21. theclevercarrot

    My heart burst reading your post. I knew Selma as well, but never met her in person. She was a beautiful soul and you were so incredibly lucky to have known her. Your words are a wonderful tribute to her life. Sending hugs xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  22. Michelle @ Giraffes Can Bake

    This was such a beautiful post Elaine, I can only imagine how hard it was for you to write, especially considering how hard it was for me to read. Celebrating her life and the friendship you shared is definitely the best way, even when you want to curse life for being so unfair!

    I know you will cherish all the memories you have with her. Much love xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  23. Gather and Graze

    This is such a beautiful tribute Elaine to your dear friend. She brought warmth and kindness into the hearts of so many people and for that she will be remembered and treasured always. There are a number of Selma’s recipes on my incredibly long bookmark list – I will think of her fondly when I find a moment to make them.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  24. Lili

    Such a beautiful post Elaine and I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s lovely to see you and Selma in the photos and to know she was living life to the full and will continue through these moments, memories and her recipes. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  25. Pingback: Can you hear me…, Selma? | The Novice Gardener

  26. polianthus

    Oh my, I had no idea, how very very sad, I love Selma’s blog, I loved you blogs on her and her on you, what a tragedy but what a wonderful tribute to her, it’s hard to imagine she isn’t there any more

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      1. polianthus

        Yes it is – I had no idea of course and it is wonderful that she has friends writing her a tribute, I hope this provides some happiness to her family as well, even if we are a virtual community and many of us did not know her physically she was a real presence in our lives – she will be sorely missed, I am so glad to know what happened though, sometimes when people whose blogs you read stop writing you wonder what happened to them I have even tried to find out on one occasion, so it is better to know and to be able to say goodbye to a virtual friend

        Liked by 1 person

      2. polianthus

        yes I love that too, despite all the comments one may get about virtual friends online only being virtual a blog presence is more than just a singular waste of time – and it stays as a tribute – also family members can still go back and read about their loved ones thoughts in a way you couldnt have done in times gone by

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Elaine @ foodbod Post author

        I’ve had that discussion only today, and Selma and I discussed it at length: our blog friends are like modern day pen pals. And sometimes we converse more with our blog pals than our non virtual friends, we often share things on a daily basis, so what constitutes a friend? To me you don’t have to meet someone in person for them to be a friend x

        Liked by 1 person

      4. polianthus

        so true – I actually do converse more frequently with some of my blogging friends then I do with my non virtual friends and we do share things on a daily basis AND we have similar interests – I think modern day pen pal sums it up well

        Liked by 1 person

      5. polianthus

        Thank you very much, however I am glad I found out at all, I am glad you posted a tribute to Selma as did others and I am glad that she will live on in our thoughts and her blog –

        Liked by 1 person

  27. Pingback: Can you hear me..., Selma? - Fiesta Friday

Let me know what you think..

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s